This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
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