p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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