that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying