cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
