I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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