wrigley field is MILF paradise
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
