It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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