actually, I'm a sock model
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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