I think im going to throw up on grandma
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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