So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Randomize
