Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
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