Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
