Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Randomize
