I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
two words: eviction party
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
