Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
