Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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