Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize