there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Randomize
