Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
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