I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
