Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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