His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
