Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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