I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
