just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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