He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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