I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
