Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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