If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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