Texts From Last Night

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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  Nipple clamps can be ambiguous

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  (651): Nipple clamps can be ambiguous http://tfl.nu/3muz
  Replies (2) Good night (821) Bad night (1301)
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  (925): View more from California

  First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.

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  (925): First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so. http://tfl.nu/lvgi
  Replies (91) Good night (776) Bad night (9816)
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"

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  (910): i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day" http://tfl.nu/pe7h
  Replies (33) Good night (1014) Bad night (2235)
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  (905): View more from Toronto

  Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke

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  (905): Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke http://tfl.nu/irbx
  Replies (33) Good night (3071) Bad night (610)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.

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  (443): BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup. http://tfl.nu/0lqk
  Replies (22) Good night (3189) Bad night (821)
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  (224): View more from Illinois

  you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney

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  (224): you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney http://tfl.nu/cyaf
  Replies (3) Good night (3634) Bad night (943)
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  (518): View more from New York

  I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands

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  (518): I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands http://tfl.nu/jxb1
  Replies (12) Good night (4305) Bad night (1488)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend

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  (208): I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend http://tfl.nu/wdl5
  Replies (13) Good night (3312) Bad night (691)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.

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  (402): She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago. http://tfl.nu/udi4
  Replies (4) Good night (537) Bad night (1275)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.

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  (206): Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me. http://tfl.nu/pgvw
  Replies (8) Good night (1099) Bad night (572)
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  (952): View more from Minnesota

  Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.

  (1-952): View more from Minnesota

  No shame December is a go.

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  (952): Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina. (1-952): No shame December is a go. http://tfl.nu/ilc6
  Replies (3) Good night (979) Bad night (618)
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.

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  (902): Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos. http://tfl.nu/64bd
  Replies (4) Good night (979) Bad night (256)
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  (310): View more from California

  I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.

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  (310): I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina. http://tfl.nu/rytq
  Replies (5) Good night (668) Bad night (269)
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  (601): View more from Mississippi

  This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.

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  (601): This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw. http://tfl.nu/221m
  Replies (4) Good night (807) Bad night (219)
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  (469): View more from Texas

  I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car

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  (469): I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car http://tfl.nu/2mv3
  Replies (2) Good night (243) Bad night (591)

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