All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
10 Things Your Gyno Wants You To Stop Doing To Your Vagina
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
For Some Reason, Boys Are Singing The ‘Halo’ Theme Song In School Bathrooms
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Randomize
