Texts From Last Night

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  (757): View more from Virginia

  he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.

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  (757): he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so. http://tfl.nu/ifvf
  Replies (42) Good night (7595) Bad night (760)
• Favorite

  (828): View more from North Carolina

  got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010

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  (828): got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010 http://tfl.nu/7969
  Replies (26) Good night (5225) Bad night (590)
• Favorite

  (858): View more from California

  I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"

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  (858): I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits" http://tfl.nu/l1ei
  Replies (29) Good night (5178) Bad night (1603)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much

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  (609): We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much http://tfl.nu/4hfy
  Replies (17) Good night (1520) Bad night (3724)
• Favorite

  (904): View more from Florida

  I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."

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  (904): I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear." http://tfl.nu/t3d7
  Replies (4) Good night (4077) Bad night (1317)
• Favorite

  (843): View more from South Carolina

  GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.

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  (843): GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head. http://tfl.nu/4n4o
  Replies (8) Good night (3046) Bad night (1092)
• Favorite

  (925): View more from California

  Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?

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  (925): Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm? http://tfl.nu/b5qs
  Replies (10) Good night (1738) Bad night (655)
• Favorite

  (501): View more from Arkansas

  As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is

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  (501): As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is http://tfl.nu/j324
  Replies (2) Good night (621) Bad night (1775)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...

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  (215): five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ... http://tfl.nu/nz34
  Replies (5) Good night (1283) Bad night (486)
• Favorite

  (740): View more from Ohio

  Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.

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  (740): Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked. http://tfl.nu/voiu
  Replies (4) Good night (1210) Bad night (563)
• Favorite

  (605): View more from South Dakota

  He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally

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  (605): He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally http://tfl.nu/nljb
  Replies (3) Good night (512) Bad night (1037)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.

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  (404): I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things. http://tfl.nu/rlo1
  Replies (3) Good night (1142) Bad night (414)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza

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  (908): Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza http://tfl.nu/tg8r
  Replies (1) Good night (865) Bad night (370)
• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances

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  (619): yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances http://tfl.nu/p8ta
  Replies (2) Good night (643) Bad night (430)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?

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  (717): 11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong? http://tfl.nu/cupo
  Replies (4) Good night (367) Bad night (241)

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