I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
