i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
21 Millennials Confess The Most Awkward Way Someone Has Tried Hitting On Them
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
25 People Confess The Most Ignorant Thing Someone Has Ever Said To Them
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night