Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
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