he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf