He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
