not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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