i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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