please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
