I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
