Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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