I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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