shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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