Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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