but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
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Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
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I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize