my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
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