I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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