im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
i out mim tonsoeep
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