He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
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