i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
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