I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
