At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
