what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
