are you still at the devil's house?
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Slut skills are useful in every country.
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We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
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Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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