Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
