I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize