I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
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