Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
