btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Randomize