he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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