ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
