I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Randomize
