No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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