morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Randomize
