they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
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