She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
