ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
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