Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
My breath smells like gin and sadness
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
